Today we are delving deeper in Scripture:
Ephesians 5:25-30 (NIV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
1. Purity: Does he add to your purity? In other words, does he teach you more about Christ? Does he encourage you to walk with the LORD? Does he feed you scripture? These are important questions you need to ask yourself-or is he more concerned about your body? Is he more concentrated on your physical appearance than your spiritual health? Does he even mention the Bible? Is this man interested in the Word at all because he cannot wash you with the Word if he does not understand the Word. Also notice Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her-this means this man shows you through his actions how he feels about you-does he give you his time? His attention? These are questions to help you determine if this man is preserving your purity or poisoning it.
2. Holy: Christ cleansed and gave himself for the church to make her holy. He gave to heal-so does he hurt you emotionally or even physically? Husbands are told to cleanse her by the washing with water through the Word-so does he cleanse you? To cleanse is to make something thoroughly clean and rid the body of toxic or unhealthy substances-this means this man should purge you of anything that is not of God in you-so does the Spirit of God move through him to convict you as you walk with God? Does he give you a godly perspective on issues such as how you dress, talk, your relationship? Does he cover you in prayer? These are questions to show if he is cleansing you i.e purifying you through the washing with the Word-because the Word is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) and it speaks the Truth-it is the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17)-so does this man apply the Word into your situation or are you the one constantly trying to get him to do this? Are you the one constantly pushing him into church or to observe godly principles?
3. Glow: Does he add to your godly glow? The Word says those who look to Him are radiant (Psalm 34:5). Moses also had a radiant face after speaking to God (Exodus 34:29).
So when God is in the relationship, you should be radiating with His presence. So are you radiant? Do you have chaos or peace? Does he make you feel the presence of God? Are you edified through your relationship? To be radiant is to send out light from within-to shine brightly. So do you feel empty or full of God through this relationship?
This is how you will know whether God is there or not. This is also why Christ presented to Himself a radiant church because whenever God is present, Christ is there and you should be radiating as a result of the relationship.
4. No Stains, No Wrinkles: This is important because here husbands are told to present their wives without stain or wrinkle-now a stain is to make something dirty-to soil it. Does he make you feel dirty? Does he appeal to your flesh or your spirit? Does he treat you disrespectfully? The only way to present something without wrinkle is if it is handled with care-so does he handle you with care? Does he make you feel unworthy? Does he give you time and attention-does he injure your emotions or does he protect them? Does he speak with wisdom to encourage you or to hurt you? These are ways to identify if he is staining or wrinkling you rather than making you holy and blameless. Now to be blameless is to be innocent this means he should add to your identity as a child of God he should not take from it (Romans 8:14). This also means you need to assess whether the relationship is compromising your identity in Christ or not-for instance, are you always fighting off sexual advances? Or are you spending time together in God’s presence? Does he encourage you to speak to God? Do you pray together and for one another or does he try to get you to dress provocatively? This is how you will determine whether he is presenting you to himself without stain or wrinkle or not and this is very important because how he presents you to himself is a reflection of how he sees himself and ultimately how he identifies himself.
5. Presentation: The Word says you should be presented to him holy and blameless-in other words it is this man’s responsibility as he washes you with the water of the Word i.e as he draws you closer to Christ through your relationship to help you to preserve your purity in Christ during courtship. How he treats you is how he sees himself-this is why the Word says he presents her to himself and that husbands ought to love wives as their own bodies. So how does this man present you to himself? Is he always demeaning you? Is he always withholding from you? Does he lack trust? Or is he truthful with you? Does he encourage you in Christ? Is he a blessing to you because he who loves his wife loves himself. How he treats you will show you who he belongs to. If he does not handle you with care, if he does not present you to himself as a radiant church, if he does not love you-chances are he does not love himself-as the Word says husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. The reference to body here is that he should see you as part of him-he should care for you deeply-this is the love we have and can attain through Christ.