Tired of trying to find the right one? Look at these 5 easy ways I have outlined to see where you may be wrong!


1.    Invest in Yourself: It all begins with Y.O.U-learn to make a difference in how you approach your day-be more structured around your relationships, be intentional with your friendships, be conversational with your talents-learn and grow and allow yourself to adapt and align with your environment. Give room for yourself to bloom-this is how I like to put it and this is dependent on your environment-ask yourself-are my friends truly my friends? Am I intentional about how I spend my time? What do I love to do?

2.    Time is Money: Don’t invest where you are not appreciated-a common mistake is to overcompensate too early-investing where you do not see a return too quickly. Investing where there is no equal cost-you are making all the emotional, financial, physical investments in the relationship-i.e you are taking all the risk-you are carrying all the stress alone-they have nothing at stake. Be careful. And be very aware. Time is money and it will cost you emotionally and mentally if you invest your love where it is not reciprocated. Learn to identify those that do not value you by listening to their actions.


3.    Channel Your Focus: Once you have invested in yourself and pulled out of non- refundable endeavors i.e. relationships that don’t give you a return, channel your focus-as you grow your desires should begin to mirror your growth. You should be able to focus at this stage on what you desire in life and as a result, who you desire to share your path with. But remember, in order to meet this man/woman you have to become that man/woman. You desire a hard worker? Then you have to work hard. You desire someone that is financially stable? Then become financially fluent-learn to mirror your desires because this will prepare you to be able to relate to and identify men/women that fit this desire in your heart and it would also allow you to understand them intimately-why? Because you have become one of them.

4.    Mature Your Mentality: As you mature your desires will shift-you change from a boyfriend/girlfriend mindset to a husband/wife mindset. In other words, you start thinking long term-this is what happens when you channel your focus. You become interested in more permanent goals rather than temporary distractions. This allows you to really gauge the possibility of potential partners that come your way saving you stress down the line of trying to think why the relationship is not moving forward or why they have not decided to commit to you yet. When you are in the position in the present to access your future because your mindset has shifted into a permanent landscape of possibilities you would not miss the right man/woman when they present an opportunity. You will also save yourself tons of heartache down the line with a mature mindset.

5.    Mix and Mingle Intentionally: Your future prospect would not be hanging out in certain circles-evaluate your environment. Are you looking for a financially stable man/woman-chances are they would not be gambling. Are you looking for someone that is intellectually stimulated or artistically inclined-attend more plays, events, visit more museums-network in the right niche. Are you interested in someone that is spiritually focused? Start becoming active in church-you need to mix and mingle intentionally and network in the right niches to meet someone that shares the same values and interests as you would. This will also force you to face the reality of your identity-are you someone that can hold a financially driven conversation? Do you have an interest in plays? Do you need to grow more spiritually? This is the power of your now. When you begin to take these steps now, you would become comfortable in the environment your potential partner is in. Also and arguably more importantly, you would be able to identify if the man/woman of your dreams suits your reality.