When she smiles
and seems distant in thought-don’t ignore that as another sign that she is
about to go off. Off about your indiscretion, misconstrued aggressions birthed
through your inattention-instead open your ears and listen to what she has to
say about this particular situation. You see a woman needs ears open to receive
information-hands ready to give support when she sits in confusion, a heart
ready to express love in consistent actions-don’t misconstrue her words for
another tidal wave of compression-to your thoughts, your ideas and your words.
She does not intend to hurt your heart’s intentions-she is merely seeking to
communicate her own unique position-to enable you to understand her inner
intuition. The last thing she wants is to fight consistently seeking for your
contribution-to a conversation that requires a dialogue to reach a destination.
Don’t confuse her words of notification about what she needs, to inadequacies of
what you fail to give-that is not her desire-that is not her intention. A woman
simply wants to feel admired, she wants to feel wanted-that is her position-she
does not desire to harm your views, she does not desire to chastise you-she
simply wants you to understand the situation from her position-she wants you to
see the full kaleidoscope of your actions-to embrace each colorful contribution
in the context of its entire composition.
This is because
a woman needs security in every situation-and not just financial security even
thought that is a part of her priorities-no-she needs conversation, she needs
communication-this provides an emotional sanctuary. You see many people confuse
a female’s constant words of repetition, for ‘nagging’, which translates loosely into consistent pounding but you see, she really does not appreciate that analogy. When you speak those words to her in response
to her tirade of frustration, if you make the mistake of stating she is a woman
that only understands distractions-a woman that does not see your efforts, a
woman that fails to pay attention to your unique position-you would have pulled
her even farther away from that sanctuary she has tried to display through her
words of discomfort. She does not speak so constantly about matters that do not
need attention-the reason she focuses so much on one particular route displayed
through your position, is because it has breached the alarm bells that
protect her emotional security-her inner sanctuary-a force that has provided her
with consistent lease on walking in a focused direction. Your words have
confused her and left her in a crossroads of consternation-and so the alarm
bells that ring in her heart warn her that you lead her down a path she no
longer understands because it is unfamiliar. And so she speaks to make you
aware of the dead end ahead-she speaks because she does not want to lose the
conversations, she has no desire to give up on your unique connection, she
speaks because she wants to return to the place of constant conversations, she
wants to once more feel like she is no less important than any of your other obligations-that
is the sole reason she consistently speaks about your new habits-you know-the
lack of consistency and actions, the growing presence of absence in your
demeanor-she is coming close to the barrier of submission. She will soon stop
bowing to your constant explanations about her complaints-because her inner
radar no longer feels comfortable moving forward into a path of confusion.
Her emotional
sanctuary no longer feels safe in the presence of your explanations-that is
when women make their own unique decisions-some venture into the cross roads
ahead blindly following you in submission. But then there are others that are
not programmed to be partnered with destruction. These few refuse to ignore the
sirens of warning going off in their inner conscience of direction. They heed
the warning of an inner compass that understands this unique adventure-they
speak louder and louder as you move farther and farther trying to get your
attention. This is why before she finally leaves behind a relationship that
sunk in its exploration, she shouts more and more about your constant
inattention, it is because she has come to the barrier of submission, she
refuses to move past that line of broken persuasions, she refuses to ignore the
raging seas ahead and instead stays still trying to call your attention to the
fact that she no longer will walk with you on this journey of destruction. She
no longer trusts you to lead her into a sanctuary of safe provision-she no
longer believes your words will eventually manifest into actions-but many fail
to listen to her warning bells as they increase in volume. Unaware that she is
staying still by screaming for your values-to be re-established in the position
of commitment before she moves away refocused in her venture for perfect
silence away from this tirade-this turbulence. Her vocal chords are strained-and she is starting to hate the sound of her own sound waves.
These women are few but they understand when they
see a shipwreck.
They know the signs of a storm being brewed
steadily into resentment. And they decide they no longer want this package of
lies and save themselves from heartache-by walking away from muted movements-actions
that never manifested-words that were always ready to defend but never to
receive with open ears of advancement. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you
were the centre of that decision-no. She looked around and realized, she could
no longer trust this ship not to be shipwrecked-she could no longer fail to
recognize the signs of inattentive laziness, she could no longer pretend not to
be frustrated with trying to prevent a painful moment-and she has made peace
with her inner seed that once believed it would grow in this commitment-but was
never watered with love and gradually faded in being showered with
attention.
At this stage,
at that moment, she makes one decision, to save herself from a pending
procurement-of pain, anger, resentment-tied to the moment of the shipwreck-and
so she steps off-choosing to believe her inner sound of peace that shows her
the direction to move back into a space filled emotional sanctuary.
Do not make this
selfless decision become a selfish momentum for your views on her personal
attributes-she just decided she no longer wanted to feel used-she just decided
it was time to step off this shipwreck of broken views-it really had nothing to
do with you-because at the end, in that moment, when the waves were rocking the
ship sideways and about in consistent motions, when she shouted for your help,
to aid her in saving the work of both hands that once carried the stories of
deep commitment, you were too distracted-and so she made the decision to save
herself from the shipwreck as in that moment, during those periods of what you
perceived as constant harassments, she was actually pleading with you to let
her in-but then she realized, she was the only one on the sea of commitment-if
she did not swim away back into the sanctuary of emotional independence, she
would sink in the shipwreck of broken dreams that once housed your unified
involvement.
Don’t mistake her decision for anything less than a personal
commitment-a woman needs to feel secure-she does not want to sink in a
shipwreck caused by your lack of involvement.