This post is
going to be very basic but biblical in its approach as you can tell from the
title.
Firstly, I
strongly believe in waiting for the right person to come along before venturing
out in courtship. That is the whole essence of courtship. And for those that
don’t know-courtship is the Christian term for dating. I define it personally,
as saving yourself from a ton of emotional, mental and even physical stress by
allowing your spiritual radar to detect when you are faced with a person that
is not genuine in their actions but tries to deceive you with their words.
This is why it
is so important to have a relationship with God.
It is the basis
of a solid foundation that cannot be shaken by any random set of factors that
may seem to align with what you are expecting in a partner.
Also, this post
is focused on Christian courting because this is dating with a
purpose-marriage. This is dating with an end goal in sight-dating to ensure
there is compatibility because of your similarities and even your differences
and allowing the Holy Spirit to move in you as an usher-divine assistance-in
understanding one another.
Mind you, when
you are actively involved in a relationship with God, the whole season of
waiting is not spent in idleness. There is purpose in each season we are given
on this Earth. So even while you are waiting
and praying and preparing for marriage, there is purpose in that season of
singleness.
I like to
emphasize this part specifically because sometimes as Christians we get caught
up in our present situations and we become impatient for a partner that meets
all our truest desires, but I want to emphasize that that person is worth the wait. And by extension, you are worth the wait. Someone is praying
for a partner that has all the attributes God is developing in you in this
season.
There is a reason you are waiting for
that person and that person is waiting for you. There is a divinely directed
set of circumstances that would orchestrate your encounter that is prepared in
the Spirit-and as long as we stick to God’s plan for our lives, as long as we
keep following the leadership that comes from the Holy Ghost, and growing as
Christians which will inevitably produce fruits of progress in your physical,
mental, emotional and spiritual capacity, we are in agreement with divine destiny.
And a lot of people
don’t understand this: your partner is found in the place of purpose. I did a
whole series of this in my Kingdom Courtship series on Soundcloud (I’ll attach
the links below). They will not be found outside that place.
This is why identity is so important. Have you
ever been in a space where you questioned your identity? By virtue of a person,
a place or even a position? Then you need to tackle it-identity is the core.
And as I explained in my previous post on Spiritual Awakening-when we come into
a deeper understanding of self-when we build a relationship with Christ-you
awaken your true nature. And your true nature is so beautiful-it would be a
shame not to find it-no one else can
awaken it. Some people look to others to awaken parts of themselves-and
that creates messy situations.
It is important
to have a good and growing idea of whom and whose you are-and we find this the
more we investigate our true nature and ourselves. And even biblically
speaking, and personally so, I found myself in Him. He showed me parts of me I
was not even aware was there. And the purpose of this in this post on waiting,
is to show you how key your individuality is to partnership.
Remember, I am
not addressing casual dating here, I am addressing waiting for marriage-I am
addressing courtship with purpose-Christian courtship. And an important
question I heard once is will you date
you? In other words, look at yourself-will you be happy to date yourself?
Will you be content with your own company? If you are not, I don’t understand
how you think someone else would be.
Would you want a
partner that lacked identity? Of course not! So work on yourself-in this place
of waiting, it is such an important season-the last couple of years you will be
single-before you are joined in marriage because you have followed divine
timing. So don’t fall pressure to society’s calendar-keep working while you
wait.
Keep doing you! Enjoy the season-learn more about
yourself-impact people with your personality and your talents-God calls us to
shine in all seasons-He is our glory-and it is in Him we find peace-and when He
makes you complete, when He becomes the centre of your identity-you will find
peace in trusting that He is preparing and about to present to you the partner
that will have a similar foundational standing-a partner that will compliment
your attributes and through every season you will be together because you stand
on the rock that is in Him-the rock of eternity.
Here are the links for more discussions on Christian courtship: