SUNDAY WORD: ANGER MANAGEMENT

Ephesians 4:26-27: (NIV)
26 “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

We all get upset with our friends, and family members once in a while which is completely human in its nature. I personally have had to learn to confront anger and it is still an ongoing process for me but this is a Word that started to carry meaning recently in my life through a personal experience of mine of how infectious anger can become if it is allowed to brew.
Firstly what is the definition of anger?
Anger is described as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. So does that sound in any way like traits coming from the Spirit of God? No. The Spirit of God gives love, joy, peace, kindness forbearance, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). Anger is not a trait amongst the nine I have just mentioned because it is a product of the flesh and hence it is a product of destruction because the flesh leads to death. In fact anger is described as an act of the flesh because it is the equivalent to fits of rage in Galatians 5:20. It is an act because it bears no fruit.
Anger leads to death because it comes from the flesh and whatever comes from the flesh produces decay-which is why you find when you are angry with someone, it leads to a lot of damage, through your words, actions, thoughts and deeds-this is the nature of anger.
Now this is why the Word in Ephesians 4:26 says we should not allow the sun to go down while we are angry. What this means is, we need to tackle anger once it crops up-there and then you need to handle the issue because anger causes you to sin. In other words, it leads to a lot of hurt, and it produces a situation akin to discord because it is dangerous and damages relations.
The next verse is highly key, when we allow anger to grow because we do not tackle it, we give the devil a foothold. Do you know what that means?
Remember those moments where you have had a flood of fury against someone in your life? And there was a deep exchange of vitriol? Have you ever tried to mend relationships that have been damaged over a couple of days, months, years? Do you know how difficult it is to navigate your way back from distrust, distaste and a general displeasure for one another? The more you allow anger to inhabit your connection, the more it will change your communication because it will cause confusion. Anger changes the environment of your relationships. This is why when you have an argument with a good friend, and you don’t resolve it immediately, when you try and resolve it, there’s a whole lot of back and forth about who said what, and how words were misunderstood or miscommunicated-God is not the author of confusion-Satan is.
This is why the Word says, if you allow the sun to go down on your anger, the devil will have a foothold. You might as well have left the door to your relationship open for attack-and the enemy will come in because:

1 Peter 5:8:(NIV)
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
 But when you are alert, and sound in mind, which comes from the Spirit who gives us power, love, and a sound mind. In other words, when you exercise discipline, and learn to respond in love through your actions, anger loses its spark.
The LORD gives love and when we respond in love, it diffuses the situation:

Luke 6:27-30: (NIV)
Love for Enemies
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

Now, here we are told to love our enemies-why? Because it allows us to grow as people and it increases our abilities to push forward in our personalities. When you exercise your faith through deeds, you learn to love on people who either through their actions or their words, mistreat you. This is why Luke 6: 29 says if someone slaps you on one cheek you turn the other cheek. I never completely understood that Word before-why would I want someone who slapped me to slap my other cheek? Why shouldn’t I respond. And then I understood: If someone hurts you through their actions, respond in a manner filled with love. Don’t do the same thing back-two wrongs don’t make a right. Satan sows discord not the LORD. So the more you yield to the Spirit, the desires of the flesh will die! (Galatians 5:16)
Hence it may seem foreign to you the concept of not retaliating but start to walk in faith through your deeds (James 2:17)-allow the fruits of the Spirit in you to increase by spending time with the LORD and you will gain a spiritual radar for how to handle situations and you will notice the LORD will change the way you view those situations (Romans 12:2). 
He will change your heart-this is the core point: when you start to walk with the LORD, the way you view situations will change, and this will have a direct effect on the fruits you bear and the relationships you keep.
You will even notice anger will begin to lose its sting and thoughts that kept you captive in the flesh ie alcohol, sexual immorality and so on will begin to lose their strength because darkness does not understand the light. (John 1:5). Your flesh cannot comprehend this transformation because it comes through the Spirit.

And He is the light (John 8:12)-so accept Him first, and He will change your heart.

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Have a lovely day!

God Bless,

Tolu

HOW TO GAIN RESPECT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

    1.          The start determines the seed. What seed are you sowing at the beginning? That will determine and dictate what fruit is produced in your relationship. Did you start with an emotional connection or a physical one? This is an example of an important point that determines the trajectory your relationship faces and the level of respect that is allowed to breathe in that environment.


2.          Your actions should echo your words. What have you promised to do? What do you stand for in the relationship? Are you stating your need for respect but becoming silent in the face of consistent disrespect? Then don’t be surprised if you are treated according to your actions and not your words. You need to align your actions with your words. If you stand up against disrespect in your actions, there will be no need to even state it in your words because your position is echoed through your personality.

3.          Reflect what you expect. You want to be respected-so respect your partner. Show them you care through actions that affirm a position of trust and consistency-these echo respect in your steps-and you will notice that if they are indeed responsive to your position, they will change the way they engage with you in interaction.

4.          Forgive past experiences. You cannot move forward in your conversation with your partner if you stay stuck on your past communications. Forgive any past incidences of disrespect and clarify your new position and lay a new foundation. Fair enough, it might not be easy, but if both parties are willing to commit to a position of nourishment through consistent interactions and communications based on actions not words, there will be change in how you perceive one another because your environment will reflect this new foundation and create a renewed climate for your union.

5.           Represent your relationship respectfully. 
Don’t encourage disrespect of your partner outside his/her presence. And don’t entertain disrespect towards your relationship. This will affect the relationship because remember whatever you feed that fruit is whatever it will produce. And poisonous whispers about your partner creates an unstable foundation because you have infected how others view them and this in itself changes how they view you-but if you stand together in public as you do in private, it creates a respect not only towards yourselves but towards your relationship and enables it to grow in strength.

These are steps I believe are easily applied to be able to move to that space of respect in your relationship.

Q: Are you committed to your relationship?
Tip: If the answer is yes, these steps should be easily applicable because even if you don’t feel like it-your commitment will make you do it! Still angry about how your partner handled that situation? Focus on your commitment and let that determine your interaction with them. This will channel a new energy into your communication-an energy that speaks from a position of respect not resentment.


I will be sharing exclusive content with those that subscribe to my e-mail list on material concerning relationships, faith and destiny! 

What will it entail? Those on my subscription list gain access to tailored information with interactive steps to improve your emotional, physical and spiritual life! 
There will be more studies catered to suit your needs on this new and detailed adventure and I'm excited to begin with you guys!

If you will like to partake of this-Then subscribe by providing your e-mail address below or under the link on the right!


Have a lovely day!

God Bless,

Tolu.




HOW TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT ONE

Hey Guys! Today I will be dealing with waiting for the right one through a process of steps that will lead you to understand how to enjoy yourself while waiting for the right person to share your life with!

1.            Date Yourself.
Each and every day you have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself. Do you know how powerful that is?! You are an organic being-a functioning and developing person that constantly changes and adapts and reacts to the present environment, influenced by the past and projected towards the future. That is a powerful combination in one person-utilize it. Learn more about yourself. How? Spend time with your talents-ask yourself more questions, develop in your emotional, psychological and physical character. Access your actions. This is extremely important in waiting for the right person. The right person will not show up in the wrong circumstances. So develop yourself to be in the right position to meet the right one.

2.            Get Busy.
After you date yourself, you’ll realize you’ll get busy. You’ll want to project all you have reflected on into your environment. You’ll want to share-and this is how you get busy in purpose-but it starts from the point of personal discovery. And after this, you’ll get busy doing the right things, acting on the right inclinations and facing the right direction.

3.            Socialize.
Socialize with the right people. (Notice I’m emphasizing a lot about right, right?!)  The right people are a product of self discovery, purpose, personal development and a product of your busy buzzing in the field of self discovery. This is how you begin to meet the right people. This is how you socialize in the right environments-when you begin getting busy with your purpose, you’ll socialize with the right people.


4.            Build and Break.
Build relationships with the right people and break relationships with the wrong ones. Its very important to step away from toxic people and cater to relationships that feed your soul and your spirit. This will enable you to once more improve on your character, it will build on your consistency through interaction in the right direction, preparing you for how to relate in particular situations through these experiences. You will notice your actions should be developing in line with your character-and constantly reflect on this. What relationships do you need to build? And which do you need to break? Every toxic person in your life is an enemy of progress -you need to break that connection so your purpose can flow through.

5.            Empower your environment.
After socializing, you will notice a connection to your environment. You should have an imprint in your community-concerning your particular purpose. Not everyone has to like you or even know you. It’s unimportant. What is important is to walk in line with your purpose. And when you realize that, this will come from breaking and building relationships because this in itself will create a character building block for you.

6.            Embrace your season.
Walk in your experiences-allow them to build you and teach you all you need. When you take these previous steps, you will realize you are walking in line with your purpose-you are facing the right direction, you have built the right connections and broken the wrong ones, and you have connected all this to your environment through your own unique experiences which enable personal and communal empowerment which allows you to position yourself to embrace your season.
And this is the result: you will be in the position to wait because you are busy building yourself in the process of waiting- allowing the purging process to take place-purging from poisonous relationships, and the process of purpose projected into and through your personality and this will not only enable you to wait, and do you want to know the best part?: it will be attractive to your mate.

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Q: What steps are you employing in realizing your dreams?
Tip: Discover a new aspect of your personal life every day ie if you like to draw, discover whether you enjoy drawing still life, objects, in colour, sketching-the aim of this exercise is to get you comfortable in expressing yourself.

Check out a similar topic on: How To Meet The Person of Your Dreams