1 Peter 3:1-2 (NIV)

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.


1. Submit Yourselves To Your Own Husband: Not another woman’s husband-meaning you should not submit your standards-cause as women we tend to compare our situations to another woman’s marriage, happiness, issues-whether yours is better or worse is not your concern-submit to your own husbands-and you alone can do this-this is why the Word says you have to make that choice yourself. This means you first have to defeat the battle with yourself-the spirit of I can do it all myself/my husband is wrong and I am always right etc-you know what I mean right? It has to go-this is a battle you have to fight because it is between you and yourself and it is harder in this culture of women being distorted in the definition of independence-but we have to fight and we will win through the authority we have received in Christ. 


2. Behavior: As women of God-we should work on our behavior-the Word right here is telling you secrets about men-husbands in this context-actions say a lot more than words-the Word specifies your behavior wins them over not your words. So learn to submit your behavior-the urge to argue, to complain, to scowl, to punish with quietness-learn to submit it all through the help of the Spirit so your husbands may be won over-there is a deeper principle here-do not allow the enemy take a footstool (Ephesians 4:26-27)-this way your prayers have access for God to move your husband’s heart on your behalf.

When you have submitted spiritually, God can move on your behalf to produce results physically. Also don’t be moved by the culture of “independent woman” where as women we are told it is okay to be harsh, assertive, brash-I understand you are independent but don’t let it kill your marriage. Learn to see your husband as a partner not as a pawn or enemy. And this can be told by your behavior-for example, friends and enemies don’t behave towards each other the same way. 


3. Purity: When they see the purity (another Word on men). Men are visual creatures-straight from the Word of God. So listen-when your husband sees your purity-he is won over. This means for instance, when he sees your approach to issues you face in marriage, your approach to decisions-that are not contaminated by greed, selfishness but are active in the fruits of the Spirit of patience when he has don something wrong, kindness when he doesn’t even deserve it, love when you are both fighting and he does not deserve it-for instance-he is seeing purity in action-this is why the Word says faith without deeds is dead (James 2:26). Let your faith speak through your actions of purity. Purity here is so powerful because we receive purity through Christ this means choose the godly solution rather than the world's reaction-the world may tell you to argue, to leave-but the Word of God provides a different avenue-remember narrow is the way that leads to life (Matthew 7:14).


4. Reverence Of Your Lives: This means marriage is an act of worship. Reverence means deep respect. Listen I am not saying you worship your husband I am saying you worship the LORD in how you treat your husband. When you submit to the principles outlined here-you are ministering to his spirit because they will be drawn more to the Word through your deeds. It also means that this is an area that should speak in every area of your lives-not just when your husband is present or absent. Don’t speak against him when he is not there for instance-you both are one flesh-respect the mantle on your marriage. 

5. We Fight Differently: Notice the Word says he may be won without words -this is loaded with meaning-this means this is a fight in the Spirit-how do I know it is a battle? Because he needs to be won over. Marriages crumble when couples fight against each other rather than beside one another. The Word here is allowing room for unity very subtly-notice the partnership-the woman submits to her husband-the man responds to her actions-that is scriptural unity. Can two walk together if they are not agreed? (Amos 3:3). And the Word says a three stranded cord is not easily broken (Eccl. 4:12) This means that when God is in the center as the Word says here because scriptural principles are being applied, there is room for the battle to be won because if God is for us who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).


This is why it is important to apply these principles in marriage. This is why submission is powerful. To allow the LORD move on behalf of your marital ministry. You have a say in how your marriage moves forward-why do you think the serpent attacked Eve first? She did not submit to the Word released over her marriage-do not eat the fruit-as women-submission is a big role in how the enemy has access to our homes-ask Eve. (Genesis 3:1-5).

So what's your choice? 

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