Hey Guys! Today we continue with our A,B,C steps to intimacy! Read below!
1. Observe Your Partner: This is an important step to intimacy because when you observe your partner you allow yourself room to respond to their needs objectively. To observe is to watch carefully and perceptively-in other words, pay attention to their trigger points of pain, happiness, what brings them joy? What brings them sorrow?
2. Protect Your Relationship:
Listen: not everyone and their mother/father/friend needs to know your business. Not everyone needs to know how your partner has upset you/what they did wrong/the struggles you are dealing with in a relationship because you allow your relationship to become a soap opera to others.
What I mean is you become a source of entertainment and you have to remember people advise you for different reasons-you have to be careful to ensure you protect your relationship from the wrong ears-don’t take every one’s advise-this is a key danger of putting the spotlight on your relationship-it starts to feel less authentic along the line because you are no longer paying attention to the only person that should matter-your partner-you start to pay attention to how other people perceive your partner-someone they could know absolutely nothing about.
3. Question your Motives:
One of the realest advices I would always give and I strongly recommend is to question your motives. This is a key part of intimacy-why are you being nice to your partner all of a sudden? Is it because you need them to say yes to take you on that shopping spree? Or do you need their approval on spending money on a particular product? The danger here is your partner would begin to attribute your emotions towards them for a particular proposition-and this becomes dangerous in the long run because it allows room for insecurity to brew. For instance, lets be practical if you just want to be considerate to your partner and they believe there is a hidden agenda due to your past history-it also allows you to become irritated and annoyed with their response. And this also begins to affect how you speak to them. Can you see the danger here?
4. Register Their Response:
This means you should pay attention to how your partner responds to your actions. The first step in this outline I told you to consider is to observe-the opposite of this is to register their response. In other words, listen to why your partner agrees/disagrees with a particular situation.
A lot of people don’t pay attention to the why and this actually causes serious disagreements down the line.
Why don’t they want to spend the weekend with you? Why do they agree with saving money for that particular project? Why do they disagree with that particular friendship you are beginning to nurture?
Register their response-when you do this you allow yourself room to understand your partner more and it also shows you acknowledge and value their opinion in that situation-and what does this spell?
And when both parties respect one another, the relationship blossoms in intimacy.
5. Support Each Other:
You show support-you don’t simply say it! Some people think its enough to text/call your partner to show them you support that project they have spent months being anxious over-no. You have to show your support-using the example just highlighted, you could send them a gift basket in the workplace with an encouraging note, you could take them out to a well deserved lunch to celebrate this recent milestone-surprise your partner with your support-this will allow intimacy to grow in your relationship.
6. It Takes Two To Tango:
I used this saying to explain one very important principle: Trust. Trust is one of the key foundations in any relationship. If there is lack of trust, I guarantee you that relationship is heading rapidly towards a dead end. So how do you allow trust to be laid in your relationship? Well-it takes two! Do you support each other through your actions? Do you encourage one another? Are you constantly communicating? I guarantee if there is lack of consistent communication, lack of a show of affection, encouragement and presence from both parties-trust will not be present. And where there is no trust there is no security, which means from a practical standpoint anything/anyone can wonder into the sanctuary that should be your relationship and ruin it because both parties have failed to protect it.
This is why it takes two to tango-you both have to be in close contact with one another to make sure nothing can come in between your relationship.