4 POWERFUL QUESTIONS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU LOVE AGAIN

Hi Guys! I haven't blogged this month-my apologies-I will aim to be more consistent moving forward. Any suggestions for topics can be placed down below!

1. Have I Healed? This is an important question only you can answer-have you allowed God to heal you from your past pain? From your baggage-known and unknown? When God breathes healing in your direction its take time but it would take a whole lot longer for you to figure it out on your own. Before you move into your next relationship you need to know you have enough room to love someone else other than you.

2. Do I Love Myself? This is the next question you need to answer-its vital that you have a relationship with yourself before you take the next step to loving someone else. You will not know how to love, who to love and what love is if you do not know how to love yourself. This in itself is a journey-there is no perfection but there is progress in this direction and when you move in progress you will notice love is a process which in itself will change the way you love.

3. Do I Know My Deal Breakers? You need to know what in essence you will not stand for in a relationship-deal breakers are red lights not yellow and most definitely not green. A lot of people move into relationships with yellow lights-in other words they compromise aspects of their lives  that should not be questioned in the first place-for instance-your faith is not up for debate-you should not be compromising in this area-so do you know your deal breakers? What are they?

4. Am I Ready For Marriage? Yes thats a question you have to ask yourself because if you’re old enough to be in a relationship that is grounded in God’s will, you’re old enough to start thinking on marriage but do you know what it means to be married? I’m not talking about a wedding i.e the dress, venue, flowers, your bridesmaids or groomsmen-I am talking about saying yes when you want to say no to your spouse’s decisions, being there for your spouse through the highs and the lows, putting your spouse first and above your needs and wants, making a home not just a house, preparing to fight for your family in prayer and more-are you ready?

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These are some 4 key questions I believe everyone should ask themselves before getting yourself into another relationship. And these questions will need reflection and introspection.

It will take time but it will be worth it if you find the answer.

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YOUTUBE: HOW TO KNOW HE IS THE ONE

Hey Guys! We had our first guest over on the show-Tosin Alabi! She dropped some amazing insights into knowing "How He Is The One"

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4 USEFUL WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING THE WRONG MAN

1. You Always Feel Lost: A relationship should have a focus. When you’re with the wrong man your heart will not be able to face forward-it is like a compass that has no direction. You ALWAYS feel LOST. Today you’re happy-tomorrow you’re upset. Today he makes promises-tomorrow he breaks them. This is what it means to feel lost-and if you’re in this relationship-then it’s the wrong one.

2. The Spark Is Gone: You no longer feel attracted to him anymore. Sure you started off with some amazing chemistry but now the spark is gone. The spark being gone is different from the fire being out. The spark creates the fire. Once the spark is gone-unless you both are willing to work TOGETHER to bring it back-the relationship is not the right one. In the right relationship the spark should always stay lit even if it is SMALL-the point is you both try to make it work.

3. You Give and He Takes A Lot More: When you are in the wrong relationship-you are always giving and never receiving. You give your time, energy, attention and throw in some effort but have nothing to show for your sacrifice. He does not do the same thing or take the same steps to make you happy-then you’re with the wrong guy.

4. You Constantly Feel Under Pressure: You know something is wrong. You cannot place a finger on it because honestly it’s a combination of everything. You don’t understand each other anymore-you constantly fight about things that should carry no weight at all. You disagree more than you used to before. You feel the pressure to leave and then to stay at the same time-that is a relationship that is confused at its core.

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5 EASY WAYS TO MAKE LONG DISTANCE WORK FOR YOU

1. Clarity: Make sure there is clarity at the core of your relationship. You both should have a discussion on what your aim in the relationship is-to focus each of you if one or the other forgets. You also need to discuss the time that will be spent apart. Share your reservations about the distance with each other-the point is to be open with one another-not to build on any lurking insecurities but to reinforce the purpose of the relationship i.e Although we are apart for [insert number of weeks/months/years] I am committed to this relationship fully. This way you both dissipate any lurking fears being felt by the other party.

2. Communication: Communicate constantly. This is very important. This is similar to the first point-share your fears, your concerns but also share your expectations. Reflect on memories together when you’re both apart. Make plans for when next you will see each other. This will give you both a time frame to work with and opportunities to look forward to. It will also you remind you both of why the distance is worth it and the connection you both share.

3. Protect Your Privacy: Do not share your concerns with everyone in the relationship. Just because you both had a fight does not mean it is the business of your friends or family members. This is super important especially in long distance relationships-the relationship is much more delicate. You need to make sure you maintain your privacy in the relationship and it also shows respect and solidarity with your partner.

4. Connection: When you both see each other spend time together-make time to hang out with friends and family together, to build memories with one another and also to talk to one another. These three factors are important because it shows your friends and family members that the relationship is a priority to both of you, you both have an opportunity to once more build on your connection through events and places you go to together and finally and arguably most importantly you give room for each other to talk about your fears and concerns and even hopes in the relationship face to face-this allows honesty to grow and the connection to become stronger.

5. Pray: This is the final but most important point. Pray together-read the Word of God together. Pray for each other and grow yourselves spiritually together. This is the foundation on which your relationship should be built because then you are not only connected emotionally, physically but most importantly-spiritually. This will allow you both to grow in the relationship together and to learn how to sustain the relationship in the long run through the guidance of God. Prayer also eases any lurking concerns in the relationship and gives you wisdom on how to handle the inevitable issues that come with long distance relationships.

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These are some pointers to help you deal with a relationship in long distance.

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